People live their lives, and many times, we seem to be struggling. In the process of struggling, we often try to find some comfort to fill the void in our hearts that we don’t want to admit. However, life has never given us the opportunity to comfort. That kind of struggle sometimes becomes so painful, as if everything is destined to become vulnerable.
I have lived in a poor family since I was a child. My father died early, and my mother supported the whole family alone. My mother is a strong woman. The burden of life is on her shoulders alone, and she often looks haggard. She never easily reveals fragile emotions, always works silently, and strives to raise us. However, her eyes that often lose their smiles often make me feel an inexplicable depression. I remember when I was a child, my mother would sit on a chair in the corner of the room in the evening, holding a small lamp, and quietly knitting sweaters. She never spoke, but I knew that her heart had long lost the ease and happiness of those years. The hardship of life gradually made her a woman who no longer smiled.
Although life is so difficult, my mother always tells me: “To live, you must move forward.” There is not much emotional fluctuation in her voice, just simply speaking, like a cold fact. I began to understand her, this strong woman in life, she is not only living for herself, but also for us – for me and my brothers, to live more tenaciously.
However, I am no longer a child, and I gradually understand that life does not give me too many choices. Everyone’s fate seems to have been set long ago. It’s like God has begun to decide your life at some unknown moment. Maybe you will silently stick to your insignificant dream in a corner, but everything will always disappear in a moment. Dreams and hopes are so illusory, like dust in the air, which may be blown away by the wind at any time.
I was also young, and I thought about the future with hope, thinking that I would become a person who does what I like and have a glorious life. However, life has given me heavy blows one by one, and my dreams are getting farther and farther away from me. At first, I held a heart that refused to give in, and wanted to do my best to pursue those dreams I had once had, but reality is always more cruel than imagined.
I remember that for a period of time, I always walked to the streets in the morning and saw those early risers, who were walking hurriedly and tiredly. I always followed them silently, feeling the rhythm of life that could not be escaped. There were those tall buildings on both sides of the street, and each building was like a huge cage, trapping me in this world. Every day, I was repeating the same life, not knowing who I was living for, and what the meaning of this persistence was. Life to me was like an endless and meaningless wait.
And just then, I met her-a woman who changed the trajectory of my life. Her name is Lina, and I met her on an accidental occasion. Her beauty is not the kind that makes people stunning, but a quiet and sad beauty. She always wears simple clothes, low-key and elegant, and her eyes are always gentle, as if she can see the loneliness and confusion in a person’s heart. She doesn’t smile often, but every time she smiles, I feel that it is the warmest thing in the world.
The time I spent with Lina was almost the most relaxing time in my life. She talked to me about her past, her dreams, and her struggles and pains when she was young. I know that she, like me, had dreams when she was young and wanted to change her life and herself with hope. But life did not give her a chance in the end. There was a deep helplessness in her eyes, but she still tried to live, still looking for a faint hope in this helplessness.
I thought many times that if I could bring her dream into reality, maybe we could go further together. Unfortunately, reality always disappoints people. Under the wheel of life, everyone’s dream seems so insignificant. Lina finally left the town where she once lived and went to a farther place to find her own new life. And I still stayed where I was, continuing to fight against the broken memory in this land where there is no hope.
People living in the world will eventually learn a word-give up. Give up the dreams you once had, give up those aspirations you once had, and give up those seemingly beautiful futures. We cannot change our fate, nor can we change our past choices. The only thing we can do is to continue to live and continue to struggle in this heavy dust. No one knows what the end of life will look like. Perhaps, all efforts are just to get a little comfort and a little less painful tranquility at some point.
Sometimes I ask myself: What am I living for? But I don’t have an answer. Life is so trivial and long, every day seems to be the same, repeated, and unable to get rid of. I look at the people on the street, imagine their lives, imagine their emotions, imagine their struggles, maybe, like me, they are constantly walking, walking, and walking to the end of their lives in these long years.
This is life, cruel and real, full of countless uncertainties and unwillingness. We can’t change anything, the only thing we can do is to live and live to the end of our lives.